6+ Ways To Become An Emotionally Available Lover
Being emotionally unavailable is not something that magically comes to us. It is a deep-rooted feeling that arises from past experiences. People who feel inadequate, who believe they don’t deserve love, they are not good enough and their partner might leave them hanging alone often tend to be emotionally unavailable in a relationship.
1.Make time for your partner:
Place your partner (and children) at the top of your priority list in life. This can only be done by your actions, not your words. Words might sound comforting to your partner but without actionable follow-through, they are meaningless. Making time for your partner also requires you to be available and accessible to your partner most of the time.
2.Work on taking responsibility for your emotions:
Take control of your temper. Stop acting in hurtful ways or saying things that cut to the core of your partner’s vulnerabilities. As an emotionally unavailable person, you are an expert at finding someone’s weakness and exploiting it so they give you the distance you want.
3.Consider your partner’s feelings and yours equal:
We give a lot of importance to our own needs and desires but have you ever thought about what your partner might want but they are too afraid to say it? Considering your partner’s feelings and wishes equal to yours helps couples to be more sympathetic and compassionate towards each other. It not just makes communication easier but it also brings you closer to each other
4.Stop Living a secret life:
Emotionally unavailable people are too insecure about themselves and their relationship. That is one reason they always have a secret life or a backup plan. They might even have a secret lover because they believe the relationship might fail at one point so secrecy helps they keep a distance from their lover. Relationships require complete transparency. You have to give access o your partner to your computer, passwords and even to your heart.
5.Practice opening up to your partner and give them a chance to open up too:
Understand that love is not just sex. It is sharing the strongest and deepest bond with another human being. Share all your deepest darkest fears, your worst holiday and your most embarrassing moments. It allows two people to come closer to each other and become strong emotionally and mentally in a relationship. Couples who regularly share their secrets tend to be happier than those who don’t.
6. Take A Hard Look At The Beliefs You Have About Yourself In Your Relationship;
Explore why it is that you don’t feel worthy of a close loving relationship. Is there a way to challenge your belief that if your partner gets to truly know you, they will reject you? Is there a way both your partner and you can discover reasons why you are lovable and deserving of your partner’s affection?
7.Make Your Partner’s Needs And Feelings Equal To Yours;
Doing this requires developing empathy and compassion for your partner’s feelings, needs, and requests for closeness.